Downtime with the Cons
by nobleboivin
Summary: Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes. Now will feature a few predacons and possibly vehicons. Please read and review. Any and all comments, thoughts, and suggestions welcomed
1. Chapter 1

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

Soundwave sits at his console in the control room. He sighs as he listens to Megatron and Starscream fight over Megatron's plans. Normally the TIC can ignore Megatron and Starscream but today Megatron's voice just seems louder and Starscream's voice is starting to piss him off. Soundwave sees a Vehicon playing solitaire. Soundwave sees Barricade playing online poker against some human whose user name is evilmonkeylover. Soundwave takes out a Snoopy bobblehead and sets it on top of his computer and a small monkey that when its tail is pulled it slams to cymbols together. Airachnid's eyes widden at Soundwave. She tries to contain her laughter but can't and starts laughing.

"Airachnid what is so funny?" Megatron demands

Everyone looks over at Soundwave's computer. Laughter erupts in the room. Megatron's optic twitches.

"I have to go before I pee myself." Airachnid laughs as she runs out of the room.

"See even Soundwave is bored of you." Starscream states

Soundwave fritz's and starts bashing Starscream's face in. Megatron's eyes widen.

"He's bored allright Screamer. With you whining." Barricade laughs.

Deadend grabs Soundwave's monkey and pulls on the tail to make the monkey clap. Megatron and everyone else bursts into laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

Setting: Transformers Prime, Nemesis, 6;00 hours

Megatron wakes up to the sound of a knock at his chamber door. Megatron groans and falls off his birth trying to get up. He gets up and opens his door and sees Knock Out.

"I gave everyone either a day off or light duty You better have a reason for waking me up so early." Megatro growls

"I'm sorry my lord but its your nephew. He's well..."

"Spit it out K.O."

"He's in your throne room dressed in judges robes, calling himself you and giving orders."

"Ugh I'm getting to old for this. Why couldn't Galvatron have a femme."

"My lord?"

"What frame is he in?"

"Frame?"

"Yes. Frame."

"I think the alt mode is a red dragon."

"Good. I won't be able to hurt him as severelly."

"My lord?"

"I'll be down in a bit K.O."

"Yes my lord."

Megatron closes his door and looks at a picture of his brother Orion.

"I'd rather have you here to deal with Orion." Megatron grumbles

He does his morning rituals and gets into his armor. Megatron walks down to the mess hall.

"Slapstick. Whats on the menu today?" Megatron asks

"A new recipe based on an earth recipe I'm trying. Everyone seems to like it." Says a femme who is the head chef of the Nemesis

"I'll take it along with an energon coffee. Make it extra strong today."

"Yes mi lord."

The femme slightlly blushes as she turns away. Seconds later Megatron eats breakfast. A vehicon brings him the over night shift's reports. Megatron looks over the reports.

"One of the engines needs to be maintenced. Make sure that the constructicons takes care of it." Megatron orders

"Yes Master." Says a Vehicon

"Oh and tell the mess hall staff they get extra rations of Energon today for a job well done on the menu."

"Yes master."

The vehicon bows and walks away. Megatron heads to the rec room.

"Breakdown what did I miss on last nights game." Megatron asks

"Giants won my lord."

"Good. Pay up fragger."

"Darn. I was hoping you forgot."

Breakdown gives Megatron 500 energon chips.

"Give you a chance to win your chips back and double it Breakdown."

"No more bets my lord."

"Very well. Its understandable that your to much of a robochicken to bet against me."

"Fine. Yankees vs Red Sox. Its a recording soundwave found. If you win. I clean the entire Nemesis from top to bottom seeing as I don't have anymore credits left. If I win I get my credits back plus double."

"Deal."

The two mechs shake hands. Megatron walks to his control room and sees his nephew ordering Soundwave. He can pick up on Soundwave's tension.

"Megatron you better do something before Soundwave rips this ship apart with his telepathy." Dreadwing says nervouslly.

"He will too. Where's Starscream."

"He brought himself to the brig."

"Himself?"

"He was that tempted to attack your nephew."

"Why didn't he?"

"He didn't want to waste the energon."

Megatron walks over to Soundwave. Megatron types in a command on Soundwave's computer. Soundwave hears some rock music come on which soothes his wiring.

"Megs what are you doing." Megatron asks

"I am not Megs. I am Megatron. Emperor of the Decepticons." The Dragon Mech states

"Cease this at once or I will be forced to shoot you."

"You can't harm me. I am Megatron. Bow before me."

Megatron sighs.

"Nemesis. Activate Throne chair escape pod." Megatron shouts

The computer whirls. A pod surrounds Megs and launches him into space.

"Next time. Just launch his aft out of the ship. I'm going to the rec room to take a nap now. Megatron out." Megatron growls as he storms off.


	3. Chapter 3

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

A/N: Based on a dream I had

Long ago the Leaders of all the factions across the various dimensions realized long ago that war costs money for supplies and you need to keep your troops and allies happy. In the Prime dimension Optimus Prime and his team meet with Megatron and a few of Megatron's officers. Their human allies act as mediators. They all sit around a large table. A Vehicon pours everyone of the Cybertronians energon. The humans are given water.

"Explain to me how this works Megatron. You have the upper hand in everything. What possibly could the humans offer you." Optimus states asks

"Its quite simple and I think you will agree with me Optimus. Humans are intresting creatures. Several of my soldiers have taken a liking to some things humans have. We could steal what we want but it would be really problem matic. Wouldn't you agree?" Megatron asks

"Yes."

"If we don't want to steal we have to pay for what we want. If thats the case we need human money. Therefore I have a proposition that would require our collaboration. I would like to open a casino."

"A casino?"

The humans laugh but Megatron lets out a low growl.

"Your actually serious?" Agent Fowler asks

"As serious as a spark attack." Megatron replies

"How do you plan to run this casino?"

"With humans and holograms of coarse. We could also pose as robots."

"Are you stoned or drunk?" Wheeljack asks

"Was last night. Today no."

"Okay. You want a casino. You want the Autobots to assist you. I know we're mediators but this has to be some kind of catch or a trap"

"No trap. No catch. Simply an idea to make our lives better."

"They pulled this crap with Ravage's birthday last month. I don't know why you even bother Megatron." Starscream growls

"Or the time we were doing some flying practice and Wheeljack shot at us with his ship." Dreadwing states

"That was an accident."

"Accident. I couldn't move my arm for a week!"

Arcee whistles. Everyone covers their ears.

"Actually I like the sound of this idea." Says Arcee

"Seriouslly?" Wheeljack asks

"We could totally use this to our advantage."

"So could they."

"They're totally missing the point." Soundwave whispers

"Agreed." Megatron whispers

"Suggestion?"

"Please"

"Lets run now untill they think we're going to shoot them."

"Agreed. Well my friends we have to get going know and let you think about it. As a parting gift here is some energon so by by for now."

The Decepticons quicklly retreat.

"Well that was weird." Says Miko

"Totally." Optimus replies


	4. Chapter 4

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

"NOOO!" Megatron cries aboard the Darksyde. "Tarantulas we have an emergency! Get over here! Scorponok prep the CR pool. Waspinator get me 50 cc's of sugar." Megatron shouts

"What's wrong Megatron?" Tarantulas asks

"Don't just stand there. Help quickstrike with the gurney." Megatron growls

Trantuals and Quickstrike enter the room as Megatron watches. They see the patient on the floor. Megatron's rubber ducky. Tarantulas and Quickstrike both look at eachother.

"Do something please." Megatron sobs

Tarantulas gulps. He carefully places the rubber toy on the gurney. Waspinator gives Megatron his emergency soda and his blanky that has duckies on them. Megatron wraps his duck up as the four of them rush to medbay with the gurney.

"What do we have?" Scorponock asks

Scorponok sees the ducky.

"Fragit. Inferno. Get me the toy repair kit. Tarantulas get me the oxygen tank and some rubber. Terrorsaur. Get me a sandwich and some energon. Rampage get me some of the stash you bought from Cheetor" Scorponok orders

"For the Rrrrroyalty." Inferno shouts and runs off.

Tarantulas goes in the supply closet. Scorponok eats a roast beef sandwich seconds later and sips some energon as he runs several types of xrays, catscans and M.R.I.'s on the rubber ducky.

"Whats taking so long. My bath time is two hours late." Megatron grumbles

"Just give him time." Terrorsaur says

"The squeaker has a tear, there's gashes all over the body. The metal bones I installed are crushed, fractured and broken. What the hell did Megatron do to it?" Scorponok asks

"Do we really want to know?" Quickstrike asks

"True?"

Seconds later...

Scorponok operates.

"Scalpel." Scorponok says

"Scalpel." Waspinator replies as he hands Scorponok various items and acts as a nurse

"torch."

"Torch."

"Wipe."

"Wipe."

"Electronic parts."

"Electronic parts."

"Plastic."

"Plastic."

"Screws and screwdriver."

"Screws and screwdriver."

"Gun."

"Gun."

"Thankyou."

Scorponok blasts a fly that was buzzing around his head and hits waspinator in the process.

"Sorry Wasp. Then. Electrodes." Scorponok says

"Electrodes."

"Electrodes."

"Electrodes."

"Terrorsaur flip the switch."

"Flipping switch." Terrorsaur says as he flips a switch.

Electricity runs from wires and into the electrodes. The sound of electronic parts activating is heard. Nature music plays. Waspinator shudders in fear.

"Its alive. Its alive." Scorponok shouts and than starts to laugh evily.

He unhooks the electrodes.

"Here you go Inferno. Happy Birthday." Says Scorponok as he gives Inferno a replica of an ants nest that plays nature sounds.

"Thank you valued colony member." Says Inferno as he takes the music box and runs off.

"Okay now lets go fix that rubber ducky."

"This time lets put armor in it. I'm tired of Megatron crushing the thing and we have to fix it." Terrorsaur complains

"Me too buddy."

Minutes later the rubber ducky is wheeled to a berth.

"Megatron he'll make a full recovery but he has to stay bandaged up for a month." Scorponok states

"B-but how will I take a bath?"

"I have a substitute for you."

"But it won't be Sheldon."

"Well I could always build you a pleasure bot."

"Its still won't be Sheldon."

"I'm sorry sir but he needs his rest."

"Will you bath me than?"

"I-I'll see what I can do to speed up recovery."

Scorponok runs off. Megatron looks into the infirmary and sees his rubber ducky. He puts a hand on the window and releases a tear from one of his optics.

Two months later. Megatron comes into his room and sees his rubber ducky in a noose. Energon on the wall reads "FREEDOM"

"Sheldon. Nooooooo!" Megatron shouts and starts to cry.


	5. Chapter 5

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

A/N: Not necessarlly allot of craziness in this one.

Universe: Prime Location: Nemesis Takes place immediatlly after the prime episode Metal Attraction

"You failed in your original mission Breakdown. But you retreived a fellow con. Good job." Megatron says

"Go to the Pits." Airachnid growls

"Feisty as always my little spider. You two head down to the infirmary. K.O. will take care of you when he gets back with Soundwave."

"Yes sir." Breakdown says

Breakdown walks away as Airachnid tries to struggle to break free.

An hour later Knock Out and Soundwave enter the command room.

"Sorry we're late my lord. We stopped for a break." Knock Out says

"Break? You got pissed and raced that fleashbag." Soundwave replies

"He reved his engine. Rules of the road state that I have to race. We are hiding among earthlings."

"Enough bickering. Did you aquire the artifact." Megatron shouts

"Sorry Lord Megatron. Yes we aquired the artifact from the research facility. A vehicon is cleaning it now."

"Good work. Anyother problems."

"No."

"Good. Soundwave. Get some rest and some energon. Knockout you have an interesting couple of patients in med bay." Megatron says

"I'll feul up and take care of them."

"Take as much time as you need. I want Airachnid to suffer."

"Airachnid. Ooh this will be fun."

30 minutes later Knock Out enters his med bay. He eats a cybertronian sandwich.

"Where the slag have you been. This annoying banshee is driving me insane." Breakdown shouts

"Oh like you've been so pleasent." Airachnid groans

"Aw you both make such an intreguing couple. Maybe I should come back. I'm not fully rested from my mission." K.O. says

"No man. You have to fix this." Breakdown whines

"Alright alright. Stop your crying. Let me see what we got."

Knock Out sets his sandwich on his desk. He runs a scan on the two.

"Your both magnetically bonded. Polarity gauntlet backfire?"

"No. The Autobots have it. Bulkhead had that feisty blue femme with him." Breakdown replies

"Bulk and Arcee. How are our old friends these days by the way?"

"Good I guess."

"Great. I have to run some tests first. I could pull you apart but that would be damaging. No tests would be better. Besides. I'm letting Soundwave borrow my laser pen and chainsaw."

Airachnid's eye twitches. What could Soundwave want with those. Could he really talk even?

In a spare room Soundwave takes a chainsaw to a computer. Starscream uses a laser pen on the Computer's tower. Starscream starts bashing his fists into the computer. Soundwave pulls him away and takes a sludge hammer to it and starts bashing it with his tentacles. Starscream pulls Soundwave away. Soundwave exhales and takes his mask off. He spits on the computer and walks away as he puts his mask back on. Starscream kicks the computer against a wall and follows Starscream.

Knock Out runs a few tests on a couple of magnets. He looks some information.

"Jinkies. I got it." K.O. exclaims and heads to a storage room

"So Knock Out how was that mission of yours?" Breakdown asks

"Good. It was an old Quintession relic that the humans had at some human military instilation." K.O. replies

"You actually got down and dirty?"

"Soundwave did all the work."

"How was it working with ole wave?"

"Fun. Raced a couple meatbags on the way home."

"You and Wave?"

"Yup."

"I don't want to know what drug you gave him to loosen him up."

"A bit of high grade, premium oil and a few additives. Now lets see. Hair drier no. Thats a gun. Oh there's that bad boy."

"K.O."

Knock Out sets a wire brush on a table and goes back into the storage closet.

"There you are you little pit spawn." Knock Out grunts as he gets into an uncomfortable position to get his demagnetizer.

"Ouch. Mother fraggin slaggin son of a pit spawn glitch." Knock Out shouts

"K.O. you okay." Breakdown asks

"Yeah. Just trying to give myself a concussion." Knock Out answers

Knock Out puts his helm on the table. He puts on a pair of goggles.

"Okay now I need you to stay perfectlly still. This is a demagnetizer. One false move I could magnetize another bit of armour. Personally I should let you stay like that for getting into this predicament." Knock Out taunts

"Who did you have for a teacher? Ratchet?" Airachnid asks

"Nope. Ratchet's teacher."

"Wrench throwing a requirement."

"Yes." Breakdown replies

"Funny." K.O. fake laughs

After a few minutes of painfull positioning, poking and proding, Airachnid and Breakdown are finally seperated. They stretch.

"Mmmm finally." Airachnid groans and stretches her four spider legs.

"Here drink this. I don't need you both on low fuel." Knock Out says as he gives both patients a small glass of energon with additives

"Whats in this stuff?" Airachnid gags

"Nutrients."

"All gone doc." Breakdown says

"Good. Now get out of my Med-bay and report to Megatron or else."

The two leave. Knock Out sees Megatron come in a few seconds later.

"My lord. I just sent two Breakdown and that femme to you." Knock Out says

"I know I saw them. I came for my medication and something for headaches before I got one."

"You should really relaxe sir. Put Starscream and Soundwave in charge for a while."

"Are you mad? With Prime out there I can't relaxe. Not till the last Autobot spark fades in my hand."

*CRASH*

Megatron sees a wrench in the wall an inch from his helm.

"I said for you to calm down. How can you kill Autobots if your in here dumb aft?"

"Slaggit. Your right. I better take my meds now."

"That would be best. Primus. I'm youngest on this vessel and yet I act the most mature. Primus just shoot me now."

Knock Out gives Megatron four tablets and some coolant.

"What is this stuff?" Megatron asks

"Coolant for aircraft."

"Not bad."

"Good. Now I don't want to see anyone else down here for a while."

"Your med bay your rules K.O."

Megatron leaves. Knock Out sighs and lays down on his birth. A half an hour later Breakdown comes in with an injured Airachnid.

"K.O."

"Tell me this is a nightmare." Knock Out groans

"No. Megatron had to put Airachnid in her place. Don't blame him though. She did spit acid in his face. Which reminds me. Megatron will be down later to have the burns repaired."

"No rest for the wicked. All right. I'll get to work."

Knock Out gets up and once again. Gets to work.


	6. Chapter 6

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. I will switch between various universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectfull owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

* * *

Chapter 6

* * *

Takes place during the end of Triage

Soundwave retrurns from his mission with a damaged laserbeak.

"Knock Out, Laserbeak requires assistance immediatelly!." Soundwave says nervouslly

They can hear the worry in his voice box. Seconds later Knock Out removes the hand gernade and operates on Laserbeak.

"I didn't know Soundwave could talk." K.O. says

"He can he just doesn't talk much." Megatron answers

Megatron helps Soundwave remove his face mask. K.O. glances and notices Soundwaves face. There's no deformities aside from the cuts of broken glass. Soundwave spits a shard of broken glass on the floor.

"They cracked the outside and busted the inside. It'll be a while before K.O. can get to it."

Megatron gets Soundwave some Energon. Soundwave takes a drink and sets it down on a counter.. K.O. hides a chuckle as Soundwave walks to med bay's wash room.

"What's so funny?" Megatron demands

"Sorry my lord. I've just never seen you like that around soundwave before."

"Many think he's just a drone but what they don't realize is that Soundwave is one of the strongest out there. Like you said, we're lucky to have him."

"I'm suprised you haven't made him second in command."

"I tried. He turns it down. If he wanted to he could be a strong leader but he'd rather be third in command and the communications officer simply because of the restraint it gives him and the joy and freedom he gets with his position."

"Restraint?"

"As weird as it may sound, I've seen Soundwave angry. He trusts me to keep him under control which is why he'd rather be third. I don't blame him personally."

"I don't either. Being second in command does stuff to a mech or a femme."

Soundwave comes back revealing his tall and thin protoform. He starts repairing his armor and cleans it. Knock out isn't suprised by it at all. Soundwave usually helps K.O. when he's off duty.

"So what's with the visor any way?" K. O. asks

"It channels his abilities better and allows him to do his job better." Megatron answers

"Oh. Are you okay my lord. You seem odd all to once."

"If anything happens to Laserbeak we'll all feel it. I feel sorry for the Autobot Soundwave would seek vengence on."

"Is that fear?"

"Yes."

"Well you can calm your fear my lord and your worry Wave. Laserbeak will make a full recovery."

"Thanks." Says Soundwave.

Soundwave strokes his tender fingers along Laserbeak's thin wing. Laserbeak chirps.

K. O. gets to work on Soundwave's mask. Soundwave snatches the mask away. He uses his tentacles to pin K. O.

"Wave what the frag?" K. O. asks angerly

"K. O. sustained several minor injuries. Repair takes precidence over visor." Soundwave replies

"Thats not necesarry my commander."

"Resistance futile. Soundwave superior."

Soundwave's eyes glow.

"Frag." K. O. gulps


	7. Chapter 7

Random tformer fanfics

Disclaimer: I'd post the disclaimer but my Ravage ate it.

Summary. Some random transformers one shots

Chapter 3

Just a stupid plot bunny that popped into my head and wouldn't get out untill I wrote it. Please read and reveiw

Airachnid races through the Nemesis and rushes to Medbay. She sees Knock Out working on a drone. Airachnid rushes to him.

"Knock Out come quick. It's an emergency"

"I didn't hear no page so it's not important"

"It is. It's Ravage and Megatron. Something is wrong with them"

"Is it life threatening"

"Yes. Megatron wouldn't let me page you. He says it's nothing but well he's nuts"

"Alright fine. Scalpel take over"

"Yes sir, Knock Out" the small lensmaster Decepticon says

Knock Out follows Airachnid to Megatron's Office. He sees Megatron on the floor petting Ravage. Ravage purrs and mews as he rubs up against Megatron. Knock Out's right Optic twitches.

"See Knock Out. It's so disgusting and un con like!" Airachnid says

"So you say" Knock Out says as he walks up to Megatron and Ravage.

Knock Out bends down and starts rubbing Ravage's belly. Ravage chirps

"Yes whose the good cyber kitty. Pretty kitty Pretty kitty" Knock Out says He looks at Airachnid and grins

"I'm doing something stupid aren't I?" Airachnid asks

"Pretty kitty want the femme"

Ravage jumps to all fours and wags his tail. He chirps.

"Go get the femme" Knock Out says

Ravage jumps on Airachnid. He whines as he licks her and then tries to mount her.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Megatron asks

"Nah, wanna go watch the game?"

"If it's football frag yes"


	8. Chapter 8

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. Will be mostly prime verse but with hints towards past universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectful owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

Chapter 8: Shockwave and co

Knock Out and Starscream continue to head down to the rec room

"I know you're not fond of Shockwave, Starscream but I'm sure he's not all bad" Knock Out states

"Just you wait K.O. This will bite us in the butt somehow. This will utterly bite me somehow" Starscream rants

"Sure Screamer"

"Don't call me that"

They suddenly hear a loud bang that shakes the citadel.

"What was that?" Starscream gulps

: Knock Out I require your assistance please: Shockwave says over the intercoms.

Starscream and Knock Out look at each other and head to Shockwave's chambers. They see Shockwave in pieces and the lab a mess. Knock Out looks at Starscream nervously.

"I seemed to a miscalculated one of my experiments. Could you help me with repairs" Shockwave asks

"What were you exactly doing?" Starscream asks

"Trying to build a new drone using the processor of a human, unfortunately the drone blasted everything and himself"

They hear several loud footsteps approaching.

Predaking rushes in and knocks over Starscream in the process. He steps on Shockwave's leg and gives his master a concerned look. Shockwave groans in pain.

"Clumsy lizard" Starscream growls as he gets to his feet.

"Predaking remove yourself from my leg please" Shockwave orders

Predaking lets out a low concerned whine. Megatron comes in and steps on Shockwave's servo.

"What is going on?" Megatron demands

"Megatron, please remove yourself from my servo" Shockwave begs

Megatron looks down and removes his foot.

"Do I really want to know?" Megatron asks

"No" Shockwave sighs

"You two repair and assist Shockwave. Come on Predaking. I have use for you" Megatron orders

Megatron walks away. Predaking gets excited like a puppy and jumps off Shockwave. He chases after Megatron. Shockwave groans.

"So is this typical?" Knock Out asks

"Yes" Starscream replies

"We're better off having Wheeljack as our engineer aren't we"

"Wheeljack is about the same"

"Oh dear Primus we're screwed"

Outside, Megatron lures Predaking with a roasted rabbit to a clearing. Predaking gobbles the small morsel down. Predaking's stomach converts the organic matter into energy.

"Okay Predaking this is what I need you to damage me" Megatron states

Predaking gives Megatron a confused look.

"I don't want to go to Med Bay for a checkup. So if I have to go, I want to have an actual reason. So as your master's master, I order you to attack me"

Predaking lets out a whine. Megatron sighs and kicks Predaking in the leg. Predaking snarls and bites Megatron. An hour later, Knock Out reports to Megatron. He sees Megatron and Predaking on the ground injured. Megatron has several burns, tooth and claw marks. His right arm sparks. Predaking has several injuries as well but minor in comparison to Megatron. Megatron pets Predaking's sensitive wing. Predaking purrs, his tail wags back and forth.

"So this is how you decide to get out of your check up this time?" Knock Out asks

"Yes, there's no reason to go to med bay unless it's necessary" Megatron states

"And beating the crap out of each other is?"

"Yes"

"I'll let you suffer for another hour until Shockwave finishes with his repairs" Knock Out sighs as he walks away

"KO don't leave us out here" Megatron shouts

Predaking eyes a rabbit.

"King don't you dare" Megatron gulps fully aware of the fact his ped is stuck in Predaking's horn.

Predaking gets up and drools as he starts to pant. He starts chasing the rabbit.

"Knock Out HEEELLLLLP" Megatron screams as he's dragged by Predaking into the sunset.


	9. Chapter 9

Downtime with the Decepticons

Summary: Even though this has been done numerous times I decided to take a crack at depicting the Decepticons when they are both on and off the clock. Will be mostly prime verse but with hints towards past universes.

Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. They are owned by their respectful owners which are Hasbro and Takara and possibly others. I also don't own anything else mentioned unless they are OCs.

"Normal Speech"

A/N: Expect stupidity, comedy, and other various forms of entertainment.

::Comm link::

(Mental link/Telepathy)

Ripclaw meets everyone

Starscream tells Megatron his fears about the Predacons in the Rec room when Ripclaw suddenly comes in and transforms to robot mode.

"You have a robot mode?" Starscream asks, his jaw drops

Ripclaw just smiles. She stretches her body and walks over to a Cybertronian fridge. She takes out a pint of iced energon with rust sprinkles and starts chowing down on it. The two mechs watch in odd fascination. Ripclaw moans with pleasure as she licks the spoon. Other cons who came in also watch her in odd fascination. Ripclaw looks at the Decepticons.

"Is there something wrong?" Ripclaw asks

"You can talk?" Starscream asks, his optics almost poke out of his head

"Um…nothing at all Ripclaw, enjoy your break" Megatron gulps

"I will but um… Shouldn't you all be working?" Ripclaw asks

"Uh…yeah we should. I have reports to fill" Megatron says as he rushes out of the room

"Let me offer my assistance" Starscream grovels while running into a wall and crawling away.

Several other Vehicons leave. Ripclaw looks at Shockwave and Soundwave.

"Are all Decepticons this weird?" She wonders

"Uh no my dear, why don't you meet up with the other Predacons" Shockwave says

"I will later, Dirgegun is going to show me some recepies and then Knock Out is going to start my medic training" Ripclaw says and excidedlly leaves the rec room.

"She's pretty" Soundwave states

"Yes she is and much more mature then other femme's I've encountered. She intrigues me"

Later that day Ripclaw decides to go for a joy flight. She stops at a small pond and admires the local scenery. She smiles at the site of two animals across the pond. The animals flee upon hearing the sounds of engines. Ripclaw picks up the scent of two Autobots. Without a care in the world Ripclaw laps up some water. She hears the sound of Arcee and Smokescreen transforming.

"Hold it right there Con" Arcee orders, fully aware of the fact that the Predacons are incredibly strong and are completely capable of overpowering others with their sheer strength. Bulkhead, the strongest of Earth's bots, even has trouble fighting them.

"No" Ripclaw states

"No? Thems are fighting words" Arcee growls

"I don't feel like fighting today. Can I take a rain check?" Ripclaw whines

"What? No, you're up to something"

"Yeah, trying to relax and enjoy nature" Ripclaw growls with annoyance

"I doubt it"

Smokesceen looks at both femmes and sits down.

"Smoke what are you doing?" Arcee asks

"Watching a stalemate" Smokescreen answers

"Stalemate, she could kill us any minute"

"You two are annoying" Ripclaw says and lays down

Ripclaw smiles at two birds that fly by.

"You're distracting us for something. That's what it is" Arcee says

"If I'm a distraction then you're welcome to leave me alone" Ripclaw states

"That's not going to happen"

"Then shut up"

Arcee gets angry and powers up her blasters.

Ripclaw gets up and walks behind a rock. Arcee follows her and sees Ripclaw squatting. Ripclaw looks at her angrily.

"Dude seriously?! I'm trying to go potty! What the pit is wrong with you! Can't a femme have a private moment without a perverted les bot" Ripclaw shouts

"Arcee maybe we should leave her alone" Smokescreen suggests

"Listen to your friend please, now is not really a good time" Ripclaw begs, she lets out a loud fart.

Arcee turns away and starts blushing.

"You're really pretty for a con" Is all she says before transforming and taking off in vehicle mode.

"Our apologies Ripclaw" Smokescreen says and leaves

"I swear some Cybertronians" Ripclaw mutters and goes back to laying down.

Elsewhere, Skywarp flies through the air. Several of the Cons that can fly, including Megatron and Predaking, follow him.

"I'm glad I gave Ripclaw that day off. She can make such a good distraction" Megatron states

"Totally, so are you mechs ready?" Skywarp asks

"This is going to fragging awesome" Starscream snickers

"Alright guys deploy the rain"

Skywarp All of the flier open their missile compartments, but instead of missiles, balloons drop onto the city and its citizens below. Buildings become covered in paint while people are hit with water. Soundwave plays the song March of the Soldiers on every electronic device. The flying Predacons open their claws and release balloons filled with honey and feathers or mud. Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee arrive home an hour later, covered in filth. "What happened to you three?" Ultra Magnus asks

"The Cons decided to initiate a prank" Optimus states

"How was your patrol Arcee" Bumblebee

"I'm not going to talk about it" Arcee says

"We encountered Ripclaw and well; we saw her going to the bathroom" Smokescreen states

"Let's say this day never happened" Optimus orders

"Lets" Arcee agrees

"Everyone to the showers"

Everyone goes to the wash racks, unaware of the ultimate prank that Skystalker and Skywarp pulled. As soon as Bulkhead takes off his armor, everyone in the wash racks end up covered in Decepticon purple paint. A piece of paper falls to the ground that reads: BOO YA, in your face Bots with love from Skywarp.

"Skywarp" Optimus screams


End file.
